Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Lessons I hope to teach my kids before I die..in random order...

A lot has happened this past year that has caused me to look back at my life and wonder what kind of legacy I would leave for my kids if I were to die today. Now I don't plan on doing that anytime soon. But there are some important things I have learned in my life and I hope I have time to teach them to my kids... some religious, some just basic decent human skills. So I have decided to share them here, in hopes of keeping track of them and being able to put my thoughts on paper. Hopefully one day my kids will appreciate all of this.
Lesson #1 Empathy
Probably one of the greatest and hardest lessons I learned from my mom is to always look at the other persons point of view. I think people get empathy and sympathy mixed up. Sympathy is feeling bad for someone, for what they are going through. Empathy, basically, is being able to look at a situation from the other persons point of view. To be able to see a situation as someone else sees it is very hard to do, but my mother constantly tried to get us to do this as we were growing up. It's very hard to be mad at someone when you can see things from their perspective. But I have noticed as I do this I am less likely to judge them and more likely to love them. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes I don't want to see things from their point of view. Sometimes I want to be mad. But this has been ingrained in me so much it's hard for me to not have empathy for others.
Why do I think this is important? Well, it ties in with another lesson....
Lesson #2 Forgivness
When you can see something from someone else's perspective, it is easier to forgive them. One thing I have realized is that forgiveness is not for the person that has hurt or offended me, it is for me. I am a better person when I am able to forgive someone, whether they ask for it or not. I hate being mad at someone or having ill feelings towards others, I feel like it is a poison inside of me and why would you want a poison inside of you? I look at others in my life who refuse to forgive others and they are very sad and bitter people who constantly blame others for where they are in life. I don't want to be like that. I want to be the kind of person who has control of my own life, regardless of the choices that other people make. I just simply refuse to be the kind of person that let other peoples actions dictate the person I am. And I want my children to be the same way.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Children

I have found that the older my children get, my relationship with the Lord has changed. When they were small, I know I have spent countless hours on my knees, praying for guidance in how to raise them. Most of my prayers were centered on me, on me learning what I need to, to be able to teach them how to be good people when they grow up, for me to have patience, for me to be more kind, more loving. Now, I find myself spending countless hours on my knees praying for guidance for them. As they grow older and start making their own decisions, I know I can't force them to do what I do, believe what I believe. So I plead with the Lord that He will stay a constant influence in their lives, that He will help them remember what they have been taught. The hardest thing I have experienced as a parent is watching my children make their own decisions and then have to suffer the consequences of bad decisions. And I know the only thing I can do is pray, set a good example for them, and love them unconditionally as I know the Savior loves each of us. Even though He may not like the decisions we make, especially ones that take us away from Him, He still loves each of us. His arm is still stretched out to us. His grace and mercy is still extended to us if we will just take it. This is my prayer for my kids, that they will realize this also and choose to stay in His loving presence.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Jenna vs Snow White

Jenna found many comparisons to herself while watching Snow White.

While the mirror was describing Snow White- "Mom, that sounds just like how I look!"

Anytime Snow White was talking to the animals= "Mom, I love animals and they love me too!"

When Snow White layed down to take a nap- "She is getting her beauty rest, just like me!"

The first time Snow White was referred to as a Princess- "Mom, I'm a princess too!"

on Doc- "He's smart like me!"

on Dopey- "He's funny, just like me!"

on Happy- "He's happy and smiley, like me!"

on Sneezy- "He sneezes a lot, like I do, huh Mom?"

on Sleepy- "I'm only sleepy when I need my beauty sleep."

on Grumpy and Bashful- "They aren't like me at all!"

Haha, at least she has a healthy self esteem!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Emmalene

Well, yesterday was Emma's birthday. I can't believe that she is 10 years old. So much happened and I look at her and realize what a miracle she is. Many people do not know everything that happened during her pregnancy and what it took to get her here.
It started when Jacob was 2 weeks old. Jason woke up one day and said "I had a dream about a little girl with dark hair and blue eyes, and I think we are suppose to have her now." Well, as you can imagine with a 2 week old, I laughed it off. But he kept talking about it and it became a point of contention with us. I finally said " There is no way the Lord is going to ask me to have another baby, so soon after s having another." To which Jason countered with "Have you prayed about it?", which I did so sure that I would be proven right. Well I was wrong and I came to know that this little girl was suppose to come to our family. But it took over a year and a miscarriage till I was finally pregnant.
During this time we had made a move up to Lyman, Wyoming. The only family around was Jason's Aunt, whom at the time I did not know very well. The closest Dr was approx 45 minutes away in Evanston. I was automatically considered high risk because of my previous 2 pregnancies and the closest high risk Dr was in Salt Lake, just over 2 hours away. I was put on light bedrest at the very beginning because of my history. Bedrest is hard with a 4 year old and 2 year old. I soon became very ill and was hospitalized due to dehydration and losing 15 lbs in a month. I was in the hospital for 5 days and the day after I was released I started bleeding. At first they said it was a popped vessel by the cervix and would stop bleeding within a few days, however days turned into 2 weeks. They said the bleeding had moved up by the placenta and was causing it to detach. By this point, Emma had stopped growing, and was measuring 2 weeks behind. The Dr in Evanston told me to abort her. He said that for her to go that long without growing showed a serious problem and that IF she was born, she would be physically and mentally disabled and that I would not want to saddle myself with a child like that. He gave me a less than 10% chance of having her at all. I remember sitting there in disbelief, first that I may not have my baby, and second that the Dr was advising me to get an abortion. I walked out of the office with Jason and said "Take me to Salt Lake, to Cottonwood Hospital." I wanted another opinion. Just prior to us leaving I asked Jason for a blessing. In that blessing I was told, not that everything would be ok, but that this specific trial was being given to me for a reason, and that in order to have my baby I would need to totally rely on Heavenly Father and not on the Dr's, and that if I had complete faith in Him, I would have my baby and she would be whole. It seems easy enough to believe. Then we went to Salt Lake. The ER Dr, after doing an ultrasound, advised me to go see a high-risk specialist. He said he didn't see how I was going to have this baby, but they were not equiped to deal with the problems I was having. When Jason pressed the Dr for more information he said that my placenta was approx 7 1/2 cm by 5 1/2 cm, roughly the size of a tennis ball, that the hemmorage behind the placenta causing it to detach was 7 cm by 5 cm. Basically only 1 cm of the placenta was attached.
An appointment was made for me the next day to see the specialist and after reviewing all of the tests and ultrasounds he told me that there was no way I would be able to see the pregnancy any further, but that he would make me as comfortable as possible until I lost the baby. I went home devastated and confused. My Bishop came over that night, to see if there was anything he or the ward could do. Already the Relief Society had stepped in and were taking care of my children and cleaning my house. He gave me another blessing and repeated what was said in the first blessing, that if I had faith in the Lord, I would have my baby. I would recieve that blessing, verbatim, 3 more times but 3 different people, none of whom were present at any of the other blessings. I then became determined to build my faith in the Lord. I wanted this baby more than anything, even knowing that she could have physical or mental disabilites. I found things to do that would increase my faith which included reading the scriptures and other uplifting books, listening to uplifting music. I made a gratitude list, and went over the things I was grateful for each day and tried to add something new everyday. I tried to stay positive. For about 4 weeks the hemmorage stayed the same and she still was not growing, but she was still there. The Dr's were amazed, I was seeing 2 at this point. But they still cautioned me about the physical and mental problems that she would be born with. At this point, she had not grown for 6 weeks.
Around the 7th week I went in for a checkup and ultrasound. The Dr was unsually quiet and then brought in another Dr to look at the ultrasound. She had grown and the placenta was starting to re-attach. It was nothing short of a miracle. Soon every week the Dr noticed more and more of the placenta re-attaching and she was growing. The Dr said he had never seen anything like this and started calling her his miracle baby everytime he saw me. Every week he was amazed at her growth, in a short time she caught up to where she was suppose to be and then she started measuring bigger.
About the time the Dr declared the placenta to be fully re-attached, he also noticed I was starting to dilate. Yep, I was in pre-term labor. It was a problem I had with my other kids. I was 26 weeks along at this point. So, while I was hoping to be taken off of bedrest, I was not. Still down.
I made it to 35 weeks, when they did an amnio to determine if her lungs would be developed enough to be born, and amazingly they were.
Now here is the miraculous part Emmalene Charity Bishop was born 5 weeks early weighing in at 7 lbs 3 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She had no sign of being born pre-mature and had no physical disabilities. Time would tell about anything mental. We were cautioned to not get our hopes up. According to the Dr's there was no way she would have suffered during the pregnancy the way she did and not have any side effects.
Well 10 years later I am happy to report there have been no side effects from her traumatic pregnancy. She is in the honors program at her school. She is bright, loves to read, has a natural ability to play the piano and sing. She is beautiful, happy and very tender hearted. She has a huge heart and is very sensitive to the feelings of those around her. She is truly my miracle child and I am so grateful that the Lord blessed my life with her. There are times I wish I could take her to the Dr that told me to abort her and let him see what a miracle she is.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

It's been a while!

So it's been a few months since I have been on! I got a little addicted to facebook, and man, life is just busy! Alayna turned 14 and started 9th grade. That's technically High School. Am I really old enough to have a child that old?
Jacob turned 12 and was ordained a Deacon. I didn't realize how unprepared for that I was. He also started 7th grade. Again, I knew that was coming but was very unprepared for that.
Emma is getting ready to turn 10. She has proven to be my ditzy child, by sticking her hand in the blender when her brothers dared her to do so. Aaarrggghhhh! Luckily she still has all her fingers accounted for. The blades did slice through one of her fingernails a few times.
Ammon turned 8 and was baptized on the 4th of July. It was a great day! We had a large family BBQ afterwards and it was so much fun.
And finally Jenna started Kindergarten. My last baby to start school, and yes I cried!
We also went camping this year, our first time in a while to go camping. It was a lot of fun, good family time. I will write more about that later. Over the next week I am going to spend time on memorable events in our family. We are getting ready to celebrate our 15 year anniversary in less than a week. I am going to try to get some pictures downloaded of our family through the year. I am so excited for this anniversary. It's a huge milestone for us.

On a side note on the weight loss, nothing new. Money has been tight, so the diet got put on the backburner. So I haven't lost anything, I think I have gained 3 lbs, but that's all. I'm going to be going back on my diet this week. So wish me luck!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Out of the mouth of Babes

Ok so my kids have been making me laugh over the years so I thought I would share some of the things they say.

On Marriage

Jenna: Mom, why won't you let me and Tristan get married now?

Mom: Because you are only 5 and Tristan is 6. You are too young.

Jenna: But we want to get married.

Mom: Well, where are you going to live?

Jenna: On Mondays and Tuesdays at Tristans and the rest of the week with you.

This is from when my 2 oldest was 4 and 2 on the difference between girls and boys

Alayna: Jacob, am I a girl or a boy?

Jacob: A girl!

Alayna: Very good!!

Jacob: What does that mean?

Alayna: (putting her arm around his shoulders) Well, that means I am always going to have to worry about you doing stupid stuff, just like Mom worries about Dad!

When Emma was about 5, I asked her to pick up the halls and stairs. Her response:"You treat me like I'm Cinderella!"

When Ammon was 3

Ammon: Mom, will you tickle(scratch) my back?

Mom: Of course

Ammon: Ahhhhhhhh! This is just like eating a burritto!

On what Faith is

Aunt Tansy: Who know's what Faith is?

Jacob:(raising his hand) I do! It's a tractor!

Aunt Tansy: A tractor?

Jacob: Yeah, you said Faith could move mountains so it has to be a tractor!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Random Thoughts

So, i joined facebook recently. I know I gave into peer pressure. And I have found a lot of friends from High School which is really cool. But I swear I think I was the only one that got out of High School, got married and started having kids. Or at least one of a very small handful of friends that did that. Most peoples oldest kids are around the age of my middle child which is 9. It makes me feel so old.
Otherwise I'm not sure what to think of the whole facebook thing. It has some games, which I have tried out, but don't much understand the point of them. Some quizzes, which are just plain silly. And you can update your status, which can be fun sometimes, but it makes me feel obligated to put something creative on there, and lets face it I am too sleep deprived to be creative most of the time. But it is something to occupy my time in the middle of the night while I try to stay awake.
I seem to have more friends that leave me little notes on facebook than on this blog so now I am trying to decide if any of this is worth it, or if I should get rid of it all and go back to my online journal that is just for little old me. I mean even my mother who tells people that I have a blog, doesn't read it. Instead she asks me what I have put on it lately and then says, good job. What's that about?
So that is where I am at. To blog or not to blog? That is the question.

Also on a side note, my weight loss total is 71 lbs. But it seems to have stopped so I need to figure out how to kick start it again. I have about 40-45 more lbs to lose.